When You Can't Tell Anybody Else, Tell Your Mom

"There's nothing better than your mom advice"

These weeks were the hardest days I've ever had. Well may be for some people my problem was not so bad. But for me, it was new. I've never felt afraid, scared, depressed like this before. And all those feeling came up just because MY 1ST SEMESTER FINAL EXAM

I was kind of surprise, really, found out that I was afraid just because of an exam. I mean, I've been through all kind of exam in my life, but this is the first time ever that I felt so AFRAID. Not to bragging my self, but I NEVER afraid of a test. Even the college entrance test. It was usually cause I knew I can do it, or may be just my over confidence. But REALLY, I never got panic just because of a test.

But now it's so different. I'm afraid, panic, or you can say stress. I often cried just to think how the result could be. I'm desperate. My hair fell a lot and I couldn't stop worried about it. I felt confuse.

May be because this is something NEW. This is the first time for me. In whole of my life I always learn science and it's easy to me. But now I'm in A WHOLE NEW WORLD. Social science is really dynamic, you can't predict it, and it's all about analyzing. I'm not so confidence with my analyze comprehension. I feel like I'm not good in it. I feel I CAN'T do this.

I knew it was wrong. I believe that "you are what you think". But I can not stop thinking that I can't. Everytime I look my friend I always find that I feel insecure and not confidence. It feels like I'm the dumbest of all. But I know it's not true. I can do it. But I'm too afraid to fail. I always think that may be I will disappointing my parents If I fail. I know it's not true. My parents will accept me as their children even if I got a bad score, but I keep worried and felt guilty.

I never told this to everybody. I always pretend like nothings happened. But in silence, I always cry. Because I think there's no need to tell, I'm already know what should I do, but still I can't do it.

My heart felt heavy. Like something deep inside was hurt, and would explode.

So when I went back home yesterday I told my mom what I felt. It was so naturally, my mouth kept pouring out what's been troubled in my mind.

And really to tell your mom is a good decision. My mom said that's OK if I failed, but I should never repeat the same mistake. I should go up and fight back.

May be it's a short advice but it really made my heart lighter.

Love you Mom ;)